Today 'Solstice' came early for me, with a much anticipated parcel containing Anne Frye's Holistic Midwifery Volume 1. Yay! I'm super excited to thoroughly read it whenever enough moments of quiet come my way.
I've been studying...as mentioned before, but with Solstice and my son's birthday fast approaching, I'm finding that my sewing/knitting basket is overfilled with half-finished projects that demand large chunks of what free time I do get. I would say that I'm still averaging an hour or two a night though...which is pretty decent considering I have no end date, and no conception of how long this self-motivation "just do it" approach must last before I find the time is right for an apprenticeship.
Before I received this textbook, I stumbled upon a few sites of interest,
*A Fetal/Embryological development site that's just amazing!
http://www.visembryo.com/baby/index.html
*An online textbook for nurses concerning prenatal care and birth.
http://www.brooksidepress.org/Products/Obstetric_and_Newborn_Care_1/Index.htm
Enjoy!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Brewer Pregnancy Diet
It's sometimes hard for me to know what to write on here. In my head, it's all a massive jumble of extraneous birth/pregnancy knowledge and questions and there's really not much in the way of a formulated beginning and end. So, when thinking of what topic to write upon, I often find myself just going with the first thing that pops into my head and belongs on this blog through any minute connection. So bear with me.
This past Thursday, in my midwifery 101 course with Gloria Lemay, we discussed the ever-important topic of high blood pressure in pregnancy. Now, I've never experienced this...nor have I actually KNOWN anyone who has struggled with this problem, but I've heard the horror stories. The high BP that very rapidly becomes pre-eclampsia followed by prolonged hospital stays, failed inductions, and eventually the dreaded (and probably unnecessary given what I have to say further on) C-section. I certainly wouldn't wish this problem on anyone, but being a firm believer in preventative care and the power of proper nutrition, I just have to add my two cents.
High BP may very well come about in a pregnancy no matter what the woman does to prevent it, but while the prevailing theory of thought among the medical community is that such a thing cannot be treated outside of removal of the placenta (and therefore the baby), I (and many others more informed than myself) believe that the same measures that may help to prevent pre-E and high BP may also help to "cure" it or at least keep it at bay long enough to allow further fetal development and or the natural initiation of labor.
There was a man, named Dr. Brewer, who spent over 50 years of his life devoted to the study of maternal nutrition and the resulting outcome of pregnancies. In layman's terms, Dr. Brewer was one of the first to realize that high BP tended not to result in women of wealthy income, while it was a common complaint amongst the underprivileged. Further pinpointing the cause of this difference, Dr. Brewer realized the importance of certain components of a prenatal diet such as high intake of protein, butters and other natural fats, and salt. He determined that nutritional was of significance for every pregnant woman and felt that it was a birth worker's responsibility to educate their clients in the importance of proper nutrition. He also found that his diet worked both to "cure" high BP and the problems caused by it in pregnancy, AND to prevent the same problems. He is directly responsible for determining that "inadequate prenatal nutrition has predictable obstetrical and neonatal consequences that matter for mother and baby." (1)
One of the reasons why I love the Bradley Childbirth Education classes is because the Brewer prenatal diet plays a large part in each class. You are given a worksheet to fill in each week that makes it easy to keep track of grams of protein, the amount of orange veggies, and butter servings, ect... Each week, the facilitator of the class will help you to examine your nutritional intake and suggest areas you might try to improve as well as provide examples of complimentary foods of which you may not be aware. It's great! and one of the easiest ways to protect yourself from a wide variety of prenatal complaint not the least of which is high BP.
To quote Dr. Brewer,
"Research done over the past fifty years [as of 1983], including some of my own, has made it increasingly clear that if the mother's diet is inadequate in any of several different ways, these difficulties may result:
To simplify the diet extremely for the shortening of this post, Dr. Brewer suggests a diet high in protein. The idea being that the amino acids necessary for putting together a baby all must come from the body's breakdown of protein. Protein being a nutritional need found only in food. The suggested intake is 80-100 g, which many women will find is significantly higher than their ordinary consumption and does take some dietary adjustments.
The diet also encourages a "Liberal" usage of salt. Note: that's NOT to taste...salt, particularly quality Celtic Salt rich in trace minerals is GOOD for the pregnant body as it facilitates the increase of blood volume necessary in a healthy pregnancy. It can also keep down edema (swelling) and if one is suffering from problems of this sort an increase in salt intake can significantly help.
Another significant factor in the Brewer diet is the increase in overall calories to 2500-3000/ day. Along with a focus on healthy fats/oils .
There is worlds to say about this diet and the transformative effect it can have on any pregnancy but I'll save that for other posts and leave you with some wonderful links that probably do a better job explaining than I ever could. Please do peruse them and let me know what you think!
Nutritional Checklists (often printable):
http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/brewer-diet-checklists/brewer-diet-basic-plan-checklist/
http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/id89.html
Facts of the Diet:
http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/id96.html
http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/healthy-pregnancy/brewer-diet-for-healthy-pregnancy/
http://livingawholelife.blogspot.com/2009/08/brewer-pregnancy-diet.html
http://www.bradleybirth.com/Diet.aspx
This past Thursday, in my midwifery 101 course with Gloria Lemay, we discussed the ever-important topic of high blood pressure in pregnancy. Now, I've never experienced this...nor have I actually KNOWN anyone who has struggled with this problem, but I've heard the horror stories. The high BP that very rapidly becomes pre-eclampsia followed by prolonged hospital stays, failed inductions, and eventually the dreaded (and probably unnecessary given what I have to say further on) C-section. I certainly wouldn't wish this problem on anyone, but being a firm believer in preventative care and the power of proper nutrition, I just have to add my two cents.
High BP may very well come about in a pregnancy no matter what the woman does to prevent it, but while the prevailing theory of thought among the medical community is that such a thing cannot be treated outside of removal of the placenta (and therefore the baby), I (and many others more informed than myself) believe that the same measures that may help to prevent pre-E and high BP may also help to "cure" it or at least keep it at bay long enough to allow further fetal development and or the natural initiation of labor.
There was a man, named Dr. Brewer, who spent over 50 years of his life devoted to the study of maternal nutrition and the resulting outcome of pregnancies. In layman's terms, Dr. Brewer was one of the first to realize that high BP tended not to result in women of wealthy income, while it was a common complaint amongst the underprivileged. Further pinpointing the cause of this difference, Dr. Brewer realized the importance of certain components of a prenatal diet such as high intake of protein, butters and other natural fats, and salt. He determined that nutritional was of significance for every pregnant woman and felt that it was a birth worker's responsibility to educate their clients in the importance of proper nutrition. He also found that his diet worked both to "cure" high BP and the problems caused by it in pregnancy, AND to prevent the same problems. He is directly responsible for determining that "inadequate prenatal nutrition has predictable obstetrical and neonatal consequences that matter for mother and baby." (1)
One of the reasons why I love the Bradley Childbirth Education classes is because the Brewer prenatal diet plays a large part in each class. You are given a worksheet to fill in each week that makes it easy to keep track of grams of protein, the amount of orange veggies, and butter servings, ect... Each week, the facilitator of the class will help you to examine your nutritional intake and suggest areas you might try to improve as well as provide examples of complimentary foods of which you may not be aware. It's great! and one of the easiest ways to protect yourself from a wide variety of prenatal complaint not the least of which is high BP.
To quote Dr. Brewer,
"Research done over the past fifty years [as of 1983], including some of my own, has made it increasingly clear that if the mother's diet is inadequate in any of several different ways, these difficulties may result:
To simplify the diet extremely for the shortening of this post, Dr. Brewer suggests a diet high in protein. The idea being that the amino acids necessary for putting together a baby all must come from the body's breakdown of protein. Protein being a nutritional need found only in food. The suggested intake is 80-100 g, which many women will find is significantly higher than their ordinary consumption and does take some dietary adjustments.
The diet also encourages a "Liberal" usage of salt. Note: that's NOT to taste...salt, particularly quality Celtic Salt rich in trace minerals is GOOD for the pregnant body as it facilitates the increase of blood volume necessary in a healthy pregnancy. It can also keep down edema (swelling) and if one is suffering from problems of this sort an increase in salt intake can significantly help.
Another significant factor in the Brewer diet is the increase in overall calories to 2500-3000/ day. Along with a focus on healthy fats/oils .
There is worlds to say about this diet and the transformative effect it can have on any pregnancy but I'll save that for other posts and leave you with some wonderful links that probably do a better job explaining than I ever could. Please do peruse them and let me know what you think!
Nutritional Checklists (often printable):
http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/brewer-diet-checklists/brewer-diet-basic-plan-checklist/
http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/id89.html
Facts of the Diet:
http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/id96.html
http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/healthy-pregnancy/brewer-diet-for-healthy-pregnancy/
http://livingawholelife.blogspot.com/2009/08/brewer-pregnancy-diet.html
http://www.bradleybirth.com/Diet.aspx
Friday, December 2, 2011
Moving
Per usual, our little family is in the midst of the chaos of choosing a new 'home'. I'm not exactly sure what our deal is, but for the past two...nearly three! (omg!) years, we've seldom lived longer than a few months in any one location. We've traveled across the country and back again three times, we've lived everywhere from the tropics of Hawaii and Puerto Rico to the bitter cold of New Hampshire in later winter. And, somehow, nothing sticks.
The idea, when we started this journey so long ago was that we had nothing tying us to our (then) present location...we were free to pack up the car and abandon the usual path of life and find 'home'. Since then, 'home' has become this word that is sort of revered. We have put SO much meaning into the word, so many expectations of what the perfect community will be like, that I'm beginning to think it just doesn't exist. And, in the meantime, life is flying by at an ever faster pace, and there doesn't seem to be much hope of suddenly stumbling upon wherever it is that we're meant to be living happily.
As it happens, we jointly hate our current location. It was an arrangement chosen under circumstances that urged us to choose rashly, and now we fervently wish to live elsewhere...any place else really. Our lease is up in two months, and we'll have to do something. The problem is that we just can't pick where. I know, that's probably not something most people complain about...or can even imagine BEING a problem. But, trust me, if you're in a constant state of relocation for three years, you'll eventually run out of places that seem worth the move and expense.
It's become something of an issue for my partner and I. Neither of us is happy here, and its near impossible to pick a next location, so we're both in grumpy moods whenever the topic of "where to next, honey?" comes up...which, lately, seems to be nightly. I'm beginning to think I should just make a list of where I'd live in reasonable peace, close my eyes, and point!
To make it all more difficult, we're a car-less family. Currently, we're enjoying the gift of my mother-in-law's car for a brief period of time because otherwise we'd surely die from boredom, but we do hope to return to car-less living at our next home site. I never really enjoy driving, although I DO enjoy the freedom it provides, but lately, it's grown even more tiresome and annoying and hardly seems worth the expense of buying our own car and then maintaining it. So, when we look for a new location, we have to factor in that we need walkability...walkability with a three year old in mind. In the middle of winter...
Yes, now you begin to see the problem. And, we need it close because money is a factor this go around and we'd rather not give up all the furniture ect... we had to buy for this current location. And, we need some manner of people we would get along with or we will truly go insane...which means folks who fall a bit outside the box...if there's ever a chance of having another child, then I need a local birth community that is active and quite comfortable with homebirth/unassisted birthing. If we are to keep our son happy, then there must also be a community of parents who raise their children without the assistance of traditional schooling. If my partner is to be happy, then we need a community of people who fall under the title of 'radical'. If I am to remain at home with my children and not feel shut-in, then I need a community where the right sort of parents actually DO things with one another...and it would be nice to have a local vibe of creativity/ eclecticism.
Do you see now?
And I haven't even BEGUN to list all the things like proximity to parks, libraries, ect...
So, good luck to us in these next two months as we try to figure out the 'next' place!
The idea, when we started this journey so long ago was that we had nothing tying us to our (then) present location...we were free to pack up the car and abandon the usual path of life and find 'home'. Since then, 'home' has become this word that is sort of revered. We have put SO much meaning into the word, so many expectations of what the perfect community will be like, that I'm beginning to think it just doesn't exist. And, in the meantime, life is flying by at an ever faster pace, and there doesn't seem to be much hope of suddenly stumbling upon wherever it is that we're meant to be living happily.
As it happens, we jointly hate our current location. It was an arrangement chosen under circumstances that urged us to choose rashly, and now we fervently wish to live elsewhere...any place else really. Our lease is up in two months, and we'll have to do something. The problem is that we just can't pick where. I know, that's probably not something most people complain about...or can even imagine BEING a problem. But, trust me, if you're in a constant state of relocation for three years, you'll eventually run out of places that seem worth the move and expense.
It's become something of an issue for my partner and I. Neither of us is happy here, and its near impossible to pick a next location, so we're both in grumpy moods whenever the topic of "where to next, honey?" comes up...which, lately, seems to be nightly. I'm beginning to think I should just make a list of where I'd live in reasonable peace, close my eyes, and point!
To make it all more difficult, we're a car-less family. Currently, we're enjoying the gift of my mother-in-law's car for a brief period of time because otherwise we'd surely die from boredom, but we do hope to return to car-less living at our next home site. I never really enjoy driving, although I DO enjoy the freedom it provides, but lately, it's grown even more tiresome and annoying and hardly seems worth the expense of buying our own car and then maintaining it. So, when we look for a new location, we have to factor in that we need walkability...walkability with a three year old in mind. In the middle of winter...
Yes, now you begin to see the problem. And, we need it close because money is a factor this go around and we'd rather not give up all the furniture ect... we had to buy for this current location. And, we need some manner of people we would get along with or we will truly go insane...which means folks who fall a bit outside the box...if there's ever a chance of having another child, then I need a local birth community that is active and quite comfortable with homebirth/unassisted birthing. If we are to keep our son happy, then there must also be a community of parents who raise their children without the assistance of traditional schooling. If my partner is to be happy, then we need a community of people who fall under the title of 'radical'. If I am to remain at home with my children and not feel shut-in, then I need a community where the right sort of parents actually DO things with one another...and it would be nice to have a local vibe of creativity/ eclecticism.
Do you see now?
And I haven't even BEGUN to list all the things like proximity to parks, libraries, ect...
So, good luck to us in these next two months as we try to figure out the 'next' place!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
State Birth Certificate
There was an interesting thread that developed the other night on a forum I often frequent concerning Unassisted Birth and choosing to forego a standard, state-issued birth certificate. Now, social security # questions often come up, because it's not particularly life-affecting to your child if you wait on it and let him or her make the decision later in life. Not to mention, enough people don't have one that there are various (difficult and time-consuming ) ways around it. However I'd never seen anyone bring up birth certificates, and it was inspiring to see someone actually questioning the need for a state birth certificate!
Unfortunately, the thread degenerated into the usual anarchist vs. State naysaying, with insinuations of legality and illegality looming around in a manner that I felt was quite threatening in some instances. But, at least it was brought up, and I think the original poster got a decent share of viewpoints from those of us who do consider foregoing birth certificates.
I first came to unassisted birthing out of fear/distrust of the current birth establishment...including, to some degree, traditional midwifery, but as my own political views evolved, I became more firmly entrenched in the idea that home and family is absolutely a place that I do not wish to share with the State. Just as I have chosen, with my partner, to forgo a traditional marriage out of disinterest in sharing our intimacy with the church and State, I also consider doing the same for my children. Meaning, that I do wonder about that need for a birth certificate.
My son presumably has one...no, I've never seen it, and once it was sent back to us for correction, and I can't rightly remember if that was followed through, but in any case, paperwork was turned into the state at the time of his birth that rightly or wrongly filled out was viewed by someone who probably made up something 'official'. We did turn down a social security card, which caused quite a stir at the time.
For a next, I've often thought that I might go without a social security card AND birth certificate. The idea being that I would bring up the lack of paperwork to my child well before he or she would need them for work or driving, and allow him/her to decide if they would like to document themselves with the State. I think the chances are 90% or higher that I will then find myself running around like a chicken with it's neck cut off trying to gather all the government documentation needed for a social security card/birth certificate, BUT at least my child was given the opportunity to choose the level of his or her involvement with the State.
This is really important to me. That I give my child the opportunity to choose. Choice is vital in all of our lives, and I hope that I AM raising my child(ren) such that they are constantly making conscious decisions in the direction of their lives. Meaning that, given the proper information concerning these documents, my child will truly be able to make an educated decision about their necessity for him or her. And, I as the parent will assist that choice in any way I can with my mouth firmly shut as to whether or not I agree with it.
Unfortunately, the thread degenerated into the usual anarchist vs. State naysaying, with insinuations of legality and illegality looming around in a manner that I felt was quite threatening in some instances. But, at least it was brought up, and I think the original poster got a decent share of viewpoints from those of us who do consider foregoing birth certificates.
I first came to unassisted birthing out of fear/distrust of the current birth establishment...including, to some degree, traditional midwifery, but as my own political views evolved, I became more firmly entrenched in the idea that home and family is absolutely a place that I do not wish to share with the State. Just as I have chosen, with my partner, to forgo a traditional marriage out of disinterest in sharing our intimacy with the church and State, I also consider doing the same for my children. Meaning, that I do wonder about that need for a birth certificate.
My son presumably has one...no, I've never seen it, and once it was sent back to us for correction, and I can't rightly remember if that was followed through, but in any case, paperwork was turned into the state at the time of his birth that rightly or wrongly filled out was viewed by someone who probably made up something 'official'. We did turn down a social security card, which caused quite a stir at the time.
For a next, I've often thought that I might go without a social security card AND birth certificate. The idea being that I would bring up the lack of paperwork to my child well before he or she would need them for work or driving, and allow him/her to decide if they would like to document themselves with the State. I think the chances are 90% or higher that I will then find myself running around like a chicken with it's neck cut off trying to gather all the government documentation needed for a social security card/birth certificate, BUT at least my child was given the opportunity to choose the level of his or her involvement with the State.
This is really important to me. That I give my child the opportunity to choose. Choice is vital in all of our lives, and I hope that I AM raising my child(ren) such that they are constantly making conscious decisions in the direction of their lives. Meaning that, given the proper information concerning these documents, my child will truly be able to make an educated decision about their necessity for him or her. And, I as the parent will assist that choice in any way I can with my mouth firmly shut as to whether or not I agree with it.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Predibirth- Creepy?
Alright, you knew a post about THIS mess was coming, right?
To summarize, some doctors in France coupled new computer programming and MRI of the fetus and scored a sample set of women (24) on the predicted outcome of their individual births. An apparent success at predicting birth outcomes, the new software, Predibirth, is being cited by various doctors as a GOOD thing because it will lessen a woman's chances of undergoing an emergency C-section. The idea here is that anyone who scores in a 'less than ideal' range on the prediction software will choose to undergo an elective C-section, rather than risk an emergency C-section thereby decreasing many of the risk factors associated with emergency C-sections on both mother and child.
....
Am I the only one incredibly freaked out by this news?!
...
Yes, it's only been compared against 24 births, yes, it's going to be years before it receives approval for use, and then I'm sure it'd only be used on high risk cases anyway for a while before eventually, MAYBE, becoming a common technology utilized on all women in the name of safer birth practices. Safer....because...well, cutting into a women before her due date, before she's gone into labor, before her Baby is ready might be considered crazy and creepy and detrimental to all involved UNLESS one cited the save-all catch-phrase, 'safety of mother and child' as a viable reason.
I only know what I've experienced in birthing my own child, what I've seen in the births of the women I've attended as a doula, and what I've read and studied through commonly available sources, but really...there doesn't seem to be much call for INCREASING the elective C-section rate when we're already dealing with a national C-section rate of over 33%!!! Well, over the WHO's suggestion of a 10% rate.
There's no indication that Predibirth is intended to LOWER the overall C-section rate. No indication of that whatsoever, and if we follow through with that train of thought, one might become quite concerned that this will result in a stronger association of fear, risk, and emergency with vaginal delivery. (we're not even talking 'natural', drug-free, here...we're talking pushing a baby out of your womb along the same passageway as our ancestors.) And, with an increase in these associations, and an increase in elective C-section options, then it only follows that more and more women will choose surgery over vaginal delivery simply because it gradually (one can only hope gradually!) becomes the socially 'safer' option.
It's all very sad.
To summarize, some doctors in France coupled new computer programming and MRI of the fetus and scored a sample set of women (24) on the predicted outcome of their individual births. An apparent success at predicting birth outcomes, the new software, Predibirth, is being cited by various doctors as a GOOD thing because it will lessen a woman's chances of undergoing an emergency C-section. The idea here is that anyone who scores in a 'less than ideal' range on the prediction software will choose to undergo an elective C-section, rather than risk an emergency C-section thereby decreasing many of the risk factors associated with emergency C-sections on both mother and child.
....
Am I the only one incredibly freaked out by this news?!
...
Yes, it's only been compared against 24 births, yes, it's going to be years before it receives approval for use, and then I'm sure it'd only be used on high risk cases anyway for a while before eventually, MAYBE, becoming a common technology utilized on all women in the name of safer birth practices. Safer....because...well, cutting into a women before her due date, before she's gone into labor, before her Baby is ready might be considered crazy and creepy and detrimental to all involved UNLESS one cited the save-all catch-phrase, 'safety of mother and child' as a viable reason.
I only know what I've experienced in birthing my own child, what I've seen in the births of the women I've attended as a doula, and what I've read and studied through commonly available sources, but really...there doesn't seem to be much call for INCREASING the elective C-section rate when we're already dealing with a national C-section rate of over 33%!!! Well, over the WHO's suggestion of a 10% rate.
There's no indication that Predibirth is intended to LOWER the overall C-section rate. No indication of that whatsoever, and if we follow through with that train of thought, one might become quite concerned that this will result in a stronger association of fear, risk, and emergency with vaginal delivery. (we're not even talking 'natural', drug-free, here...we're talking pushing a baby out of your womb along the same passageway as our ancestors.) And, with an increase in these associations, and an increase in elective C-section options, then it only follows that more and more women will choose surgery over vaginal delivery simply because it gradually (one can only hope gradually!) becomes the socially 'safer' option.
It's all very sad.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Gender Neutrality for the Newborn
My sister-in-law happens to be pregnant. Which, is utterly beyond exciting to me because it's another birth experience I'll hear about, another baby to hold one day, and another woman entering motherhood. The close proximity of all of this brought on by our familial connection just makes it all the more wonderful.
Anyway, since it's not my OWN baby, I'm finding that there are all these adorable little 'gift's for babies that you just wouldn't buy for yourself, but suddenly become too cute to resist when you imagine the item going to someone else and their new child. Which, is weird, and I know I should have better self-control because babies really don't need much of anything beyond love and mother's milk, but...well...maybe time will help me to resist.
To come to the point of this blog post, I found myself in Kohls today...don't ask me why. And, saw literally twenty mothers with practically newborns shopping in the baby section. (alright, I might be exaggerating a bit here, but, trust me, it's more mothers with newborns than I've ever seen in a store before!) I assumed there was a sale, so wandered over to have a look at the gender neutral selection. And, I remember feeling this way while shopping for my son, but it's utterly amazing how ridiculous some of the baby stuff IS. Not to mention how incredibly NON-gender neutral. I saw lots of brown...which I actually like on babies...good camouflage for all the mess...but brown is only available with complimentary colors of pink, purple, blue, or green. With boy puppy dogs, or girly bunny rabbits. *sigh*
There was an article out not too long ago about a family who was choosing to raise their child gender neutral. And, I still think it's a bit odd, and far-fetched to put into practice to the extreme that they have chosen to go, BUT there's some valid points about why must we classify our children by sex from the moment of birth! Whatever happened to the white layette? or yellow? or greens and blues that don't instantly bespeak BOY. I mean, what about grey? It's handsomely appropriate for a baby in a light color, and yet, it's nowhere except in hand-knit sweaters!
It's not that I really think you should avoid gender identifying clothing, it's just odd that there's no other options. The conspirator in me wonders if perhaps it's contributing to all the ultrasounds to check the sex of the unborn child. It's a legitimate thing new parents wonder about, and when surrounded by very little in the way of gender neutral options to prepare for baby, well, it can only encourage those sorts of ultrasounds right?
Anyway, since it's not my OWN baby, I'm finding that there are all these adorable little 'gift's for babies that you just wouldn't buy for yourself, but suddenly become too cute to resist when you imagine the item going to someone else and their new child. Which, is weird, and I know I should have better self-control because babies really don't need much of anything beyond love and mother's milk, but...well...maybe time will help me to resist.
To come to the point of this blog post, I found myself in Kohls today...don't ask me why. And, saw literally twenty mothers with practically newborns shopping in the baby section. (alright, I might be exaggerating a bit here, but, trust me, it's more mothers with newborns than I've ever seen in a store before!) I assumed there was a sale, so wandered over to have a look at the gender neutral selection. And, I remember feeling this way while shopping for my son, but it's utterly amazing how ridiculous some of the baby stuff IS. Not to mention how incredibly NON-gender neutral. I saw lots of brown...which I actually like on babies...good camouflage for all the mess...but brown is only available with complimentary colors of pink, purple, blue, or green. With boy puppy dogs, or girly bunny rabbits. *sigh*
There was an article out not too long ago about a family who was choosing to raise their child gender neutral. And, I still think it's a bit odd, and far-fetched to put into practice to the extreme that they have chosen to go, BUT there's some valid points about why must we classify our children by sex from the moment of birth! Whatever happened to the white layette? or yellow? or greens and blues that don't instantly bespeak BOY. I mean, what about grey? It's handsomely appropriate for a baby in a light color, and yet, it's nowhere except in hand-knit sweaters!
It's not that I really think you should avoid gender identifying clothing, it's just odd that there's no other options. The conspirator in me wonders if perhaps it's contributing to all the ultrasounds to check the sex of the unborn child. It's a legitimate thing new parents wonder about, and when surrounded by very little in the way of gender neutral options to prepare for baby, well, it can only encourage those sorts of ultrasounds right?
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Natural Transitioning from Co-sleeping
I've been a proud co-sleeping mother by every sense of that phrase for nearly 3 years. In fact, to be exact, JUST under 2 years and 11 months.
As with everything having to do with 'parenting' my son, it's been a journey. We started with a Snuggle Nest after falling prey to the horror stories of parents rolling onto their tiny babies and smothering them to death. After the first four hours of sleeping our own bed, the baby was brought onto my partners stomach in a sort of cuddle sleep, and the Snuggle Nest was abandoned forever as essentially useless. T refused to sleep in any longer, and both my partner and I found that we were fully confident that there was no logical way that either of us would EVER be able to sleep so soundly that we would unconsciously smother our baby.
We also forewent the warnings about pillows, comforters, and whatever else is warned about in the common co-sleeping literature. I'm not sure I'd go ahead and vote that that's the 'safest' way to co-sleep, but again, it's one of those things that we gradually became ok with.
By the time he was 9 months or so, I was beginning to wonder how we'd ever get him OUT of our bed. I still enjoyed our sleep together, but at times it was frustrating. T tended to sleep in the middle of the bed, and he also tended to take over the entire bed in that way of small children. I wanted to be able to cuddle against my partner, but alas, there was always a flailing hot little body preventing me.
This past August, T and I entered into a mutual weaning. I'm not even so sure how it 'happened' anymore, but whatever the cause, or how we did it, within a week or two, he was completely weaned without fuss. We spent lots of time cuddling more directly in bed, and he slept EVEN closer to me than he had in the past. Which, at the time, I enjoyed because some vital bit of our bonding experience had come to an end, and I wanted reasurance that we were still just as close.
Fast forward to the present day, and T has slept in his own bed, of his own choice for the past 4-5 nights. ALL night I should add. It seems like such a natural transition that I laugh to think that at some point in the past I'd actually devoted attention to the how's and why's of this happening. His 'bed' is just a futon couch moved beside our own bed, but he's possessive about it in a way that lets me know this is probably 'for real'. He's ready to have his own sleeping space. And for the first time in nearly three years, I'm getting uninterrupted sleep. Which, is something I'd given up on years ago!
As with everything having to do with 'parenting' my son, it's been a journey. We started with a Snuggle Nest after falling prey to the horror stories of parents rolling onto their tiny babies and smothering them to death. After the first four hours of sleeping our own bed, the baby was brought onto my partners stomach in a sort of cuddle sleep, and the Snuggle Nest was abandoned forever as essentially useless. T refused to sleep in any longer, and both my partner and I found that we were fully confident that there was no logical way that either of us would EVER be able to sleep so soundly that we would unconsciously smother our baby.
We also forewent the warnings about pillows, comforters, and whatever else is warned about in the common co-sleeping literature. I'm not sure I'd go ahead and vote that that's the 'safest' way to co-sleep, but again, it's one of those things that we gradually became ok with.
By the time he was 9 months or so, I was beginning to wonder how we'd ever get him OUT of our bed. I still enjoyed our sleep together, but at times it was frustrating. T tended to sleep in the middle of the bed, and he also tended to take over the entire bed in that way of small children. I wanted to be able to cuddle against my partner, but alas, there was always a flailing hot little body preventing me.
This past August, T and I entered into a mutual weaning. I'm not even so sure how it 'happened' anymore, but whatever the cause, or how we did it, within a week or two, he was completely weaned without fuss. We spent lots of time cuddling more directly in bed, and he slept EVEN closer to me than he had in the past. Which, at the time, I enjoyed because some vital bit of our bonding experience had come to an end, and I wanted reasurance that we were still just as close.
Fast forward to the present day, and T has slept in his own bed, of his own choice for the past 4-5 nights. ALL night I should add. It seems like such a natural transition that I laugh to think that at some point in the past I'd actually devoted attention to the how's and why's of this happening. His 'bed' is just a futon couch moved beside our own bed, but he's possessive about it in a way that lets me know this is probably 'for real'. He's ready to have his own sleeping space. And for the first time in nearly three years, I'm getting uninterrupted sleep. Which, is something I'd given up on years ago!
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